HM:BTN Spoof Off
by Dragon Maiden 64
Summary: A basically weird story about BTN, swearing and junk.


Disclaimer: I don't own HM as Toybox and Natsume do. Ha now you can't sue me!  
  
Story by: Rika  
  
This is a spoof of Harvest Moon:BTN. There will be mild swearing, and other strange stuff. If you are offended easily please leave... I wrote this cause I feel bitter today.  
  
Jack came to the farm the first of Spring. Being a "City Boy" he knew the country village would be different than the city life but it he couldn't have imagined this. He went to the farm and looked at it. A few swears expelled from his mouth when he saw it. It looked as though a huuricane blew through. Then from the shadows emerged a rather short and stocky man.  
  
Mayor: Hey Jack, wanna see da village? Jack thinks he's friendly so he nods.  
  
Mayor: Too bad bitch! He he he! Then he leaves. Jack blinks twice than decides to take a walk. He reaches a building with a chicken on it. Then some figures appear chasing the chickens nude. Jack covers his eyes in horror.  
  
Rick: I am Rick the Chicken God! Bow to me!  
  
Popuri: Buckack! Buck, buck buck ack!   
  
Lillia: Obey the chicken god...Obey the chicken god!!!! In the background chickens cluck. Jack runs to a building with a cross. Sanctuary... So he goes inside. To his eyes surprise he sees a girl with short brown hair smoking some pot.  
  
Elli: I'm Elli, a nurse...I'm so Easie! Jack just shrugs her off. Then the doctor comes in.  
  
Doctor: (in a robot voice) All Your Base Are Belong To Us!   
  
Jack: Okay... He leaves and goes to the church. Two children have the pastor tied to a stick. Surrounding him is a blazing fire. There is a royal chair which a girl with a black braid is sitting in it.  
  
Mary: I am the god of fire! Muh ha ha ha ha! No one can stop my quest for world domination.  
  
May + Stu: We are your loyal minnions...Give us 50% of your profit... Suddenly a man with a large hat and brown hair burst in.   
  
Basil: I am Sailor Moon! Champian of justice! Does some jestures with his hands then continues. I'll stop you evil Metallia! Moon Kick! Basil kicks the surprised Mary and soon they lock into battle.   
  
Mary: Super Destructive Dark Tantrun Power Up! She puches Basil in the stomach.  
  
Basil: Moonie Fanatic Call Up Now! Soon a herd of angry fans sweep away Mary. Basil is triamphant and Jack is running away. Soon he sees a beach where he sees many townswomen. There is a banner in Japanese which he can't read.   
  
Jack: Excuse me miss, what does the sign say?  
  
Ann: It reads the annual "Women Who Used to be Men Convention!"  
  
Jack: Ahhh!  
  
Karen: Were gonna do the Macarina now!  
  
Jack: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Jack runs like the wind past all of the places to a place called "Mother's Hill". After awhile he runs to a bridge where an old lady blocks his path.  
  
Ellen: I am The Guardian of the Bridge! Answer these questions three to pass! Question one what's your name?  
  
Jack: Jack.  
  
Ellen: Number two, what's your favorite color?  
  
Jack: Blue.  
  
Ellen: Okay now, will you do me?  
  
Jack: Why?  
  
Ellen: I dunno? Whaa!!! Suddenly by an invisible force, she is thrown into the river.   
  
Jack: Monty Python shorts suck!  
  
Author: Bite Me! Jack heres rustling in some nearby bushes so he goes to investigates. Then he finds Kai humping Cliff humping Gray.  
  
Kai: Wanna join us?  
  
Cliff: It's fun...heh...heh...  
  
Gray: Who said to stop?  
  
Cliff: Sorry... Jack runs and pukes over the bridge. Then Stu walks up to Jack.  
  
Stu: Wanna play games on my Sega Saturn with me?  
  
Jack: Oooooooooooooooo Myyyyyyyyyyyyy Gooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!! I've died and gone to hell!!!!!!! Soon Jack jumps into the river never to be seen again.   
  
Stu: C'mon out everyone. Everyone emerges and claps. Stu is awarded two pounds of pot and booze for scaring away the outsider.   
  
Mayor: Now the farm can become an Amusment park so I...er...we can become rich!  
  
Townspeople: Yeah!  
  
Saibara: Not if I can help it! He jumps down from the trees and blasts everyone to pieces with his machine gun. Now to concur the world! Muh ha ha ha! Than he takes the drugs from Stu and starts getting wasted.  
  
Didn't like it? Ah well, I just wrote it to be bitter and to write a BTN fic. Later and please write reviews... 


End file.
